SERIOUSLY? It's Darcie's Birthday?

Darcie, you're my BFF, and it's your DIRTY THIRTY! 

Why are you my BFF? That's easy...

1.      We have more inside jokes than there are people in the world.

2.      One cannot use the adjective “ludacris” in your presence without you busting into rhyme.

3.      Your eyes look pretty in the sun.

4.      You enjoy a good wave.

5.      I think that these days SSL stands for “Slightly Selfish Lesbian.” You’re getting better! ;)

6.      You always drive.

7.      You let me steal your socks.

8.      You make me laugh more than anyone on the planet.

9.      You’re always willing to help me declutter my life…by getting rid of pesky jobs.

10.   Somehow, you make scrapbooking cool.

11.   Two words: FOSSIL FUELS

12.   As far as I’m concerned, your cup will ALWAYS runneth over.

13.   I never worry about you laughing about me behind my back…you do it to my face.

14.   “SERIOUSLY?”

15.   Remember the time we saw George Strait? Me neither.

16.   “Did she massage your butt? No? Me neither.”

17.   RIP: John Lemmon and Rose Nylund

18.   I know you secretly refer to your cell phone as a hand phone.

19.   Two more words: STRIPES and POLKA DOTS….oops three words.

20.   Who doesn’t love a tongue depressor picture frame?

21.   Romeo and Juliet ain’t got nothin’ on us!

22.   Midnight deviled egg party!

23.   You’re a folded chip connoisseur.

24.   You introduced me to the “best champagne ever!”

25.   You’ve picked me up from airports and resorts.

26.   We proudly saw the Backstreet Boys in concert…after graduating from college.

27.   We got our first tattoos together, which makes us a walking best-friend cliché.

28.   You’re one of the greatest mothers in the world

29.   We are just like Sister Sledge.

30.   You’re not a gay man, but you’re clean and hygienic, so I lovre you!!!!!!!!

Bill Gates' Rules for Life...Learn Them!

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! 

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. 

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. 

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. 

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. 

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.