SERIOUSLY? It's Darcie's Birthday?

Darcie, you're my BFF, and it's your DIRTY THIRTY! 

Why are you my BFF? That's easy...

1.      We have more inside jokes than there are people in the world.

2.      One cannot use the adjective “ludacris” in your presence without you busting into rhyme.

3.      Your eyes look pretty in the sun.

4.      You enjoy a good wave.

5.      I think that these days SSL stands for “Slightly Selfish Lesbian.” You’re getting better! ;)

6.      You always drive.

7.      You let me steal your socks.

8.      You make me laugh more than anyone on the planet.

9.      You’re always willing to help me declutter my life…by getting rid of pesky jobs.

10.   Somehow, you make scrapbooking cool.

11.   Two words: FOSSIL FUELS

12.   As far as I’m concerned, your cup will ALWAYS runneth over.

13.   I never worry about you laughing about me behind my back…you do it to my face.

14.   “SERIOUSLY?”

15.   Remember the time we saw George Strait? Me neither.

16.   “Did she massage your butt? No? Me neither.”

17.   RIP: John Lemmon and Rose Nylund

18.   I know you secretly refer to your cell phone as a hand phone.

19.   Two more words: STRIPES and POLKA DOTS….oops three words.

20.   Who doesn’t love a tongue depressor picture frame?

21.   Romeo and Juliet ain’t got nothin’ on us!

22.   Midnight deviled egg party!

23.   You’re a folded chip connoisseur.

24.   You introduced me to the “best champagne ever!”

25.   You’ve picked me up from airports and resorts.

26.   We proudly saw the Backstreet Boys in concert…after graduating from college.

27.   We got our first tattoos together, which makes us a walking best-friend cliché.

28.   You’re one of the greatest mothers in the world

29.   We are just like Sister Sledge.

30.   You’re not a gay man, but you’re clean and hygienic, so I lovre you!!!!!!!!

Bill Gates' Rules for Life...Learn Them!

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! 

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. 

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. 

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. 

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. 

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Japan Day Ichi

During my summer vacation, I traveled to Japan with my awesome co-worker, Sarah. And my mom, who is AMAZING, met us there.

I took my first xanax free flight in three years! I will admit, however, I had a couple of beers at 9:30am. Yes. I know I'm classy, or should I say "CASSy?"

I was so excited to see my mom for the first time in nearly three years that I could barely stand it. I think that helped with my fears. I've learned that after a while (at any age), you become willing to do just about anything for a hug from your mom.

Unfortunately, I did have a bit of a problem going through security at the Incheon, Korea airport. I found out that my new Korean visa is a single entry visa, so I had to pay 30 bucks for a permit to leave the country for my vacation. It really wasn't a big deal, but before I understood the problem with my visa, I was a bit nervous. It's always reassuring several Koreans gather around your passport, while frowning and saying things that you don't understand.

All I was thinking was "Ain't nobody gonna keep me from my mama!"  Ok, ok...I was also thinking "Please, god, don't let me lose over 500 bucks on an unused flight to Japan!"

Anyway, having to pay 30 bucks was a surprise, but it was easily fixed, and I was on my way to Tokyo! ASAH!

The flight to Tokyo was only one hour and 45 minutes. Man, I wish I could afford to just hop on a flight every weekend!

When we arrived at the Narita, Japan airport, we had some issues locating my mom because we were on different sides of the airport and none of us had working handphones. It took two hours (blah!), but eventually we found each other! ...♫ Reunited and it feels so good...♫


Next, we hopped on airport shuttle bus to our hotel in the central area of Tokyo (Chiyoda ward). Now, folks, I've stayed in quite a few five and six star hotels around the world, but none compare to The Hotel New Otani. Don't judge. I know it makes much more sense to stay in a hostel when traveling. But it's my hobby. Some people hike, knit, scrapbook, etc. I like to stay in unique hotels. And this hotels ranks number one in my top ten list at the moment.. (top ten hotels blog coming soon)  If you're in Tokyo with money to burn, splurge on this hotel!

Here, Sarah and I are showing off our yoga skills in the hotel garden, which is over 400 years old!

My mom's main hobby is making pottery, and the hotel garden had old anagama kiln onsite. 

Outdoor pools are few and far between in Korea, so I was in heaven!

Game Over for Me :(

Even though I was killed on day three and did not make it to the second round, the water gun tournament was a blast!

Check out my documentary below. 

Or you can catch it at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival.

 (It hasn't been selected yet, but I'm sure it will make the cut). 

Aqua Assassins!

Nothing is, was, or ever will be as epic as Animal Combat 2009.

But now I am embarking upon a new challenge: AQUA ASSASSINS 2010!  *cue Final Countdown music*

Aqua Assassins is a watergun assassination tournament and our version of STREETWARS, which is going on in various cities in the States at the moment. 

At the start of the game you are given this critical information about your target:

Name
Home/work address
phone number

Your mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon, super soaker, etc.) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear


I'm in it to win it, people! And I trust no one. I keep my water gun on me at all times. (even in the shower or on the toilet!)

I wish I could tell you more, but I can only reveal so much information. My assassin is out there waiting and watching, but those who know me best, know that I'm a sweet southern belle on the outside and a stealth ninja with cat-like reflexes on the inside.

As for my target, the person does not stand a chance, being much more pirate than ninja.

Give up now. I'm coming for you, t-arrrrgh-et!

The game ends Wednesday night. There are only 15 participants, so hopefully all my targets will be dead by then. After the award ceremony/mass funeral, I will post results, pics, videos, etc.

Sleep well, city of Geochang.

The Suzanne Sugarbaker of Seoul!

Well, I have a new addiction in life: standing on stage with a spotlight and microphone, forcing innocent bystanders to listen to me talk about myself! I love it. It's like a hug from Jesus. 

I've only performed my measly little 10 minute stand-up routine once, but in my mind, I am now a professional. 

Now I go through life (meaning the last 5 days) saying things like, "Oh, I'm totally putting that in my set!" or "Yeah *stretches shoulders and neck to look cool* I'm doing stand-up these days, but I've only started within the last year (Not a lie, people!).

But seriously, living in Korea is beginning to take its toll on me, and I'm extremely homesick, so it's great to have a new hobby (sorry, I mean CAREER) to get my serotonin pumping! 

I'll be performing this next weekend in Itaewon at Stand Up Seoul (Rocky Mountain Tavern, Friday night) and Sunday Night Live (Roofers, obviously Sunday night). 

I like to think of myself as the Suzanne Sugarbaker of Seoul. So please come out and support your local self-involved, eccentric southern-belle. 

Now, dear readers, I leave you with the poetic words of Robbie Hart....

"Well, I have a microphone, and you don't. 

SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!"

Care Packages ROK!

Today, I got the best care package from my wonderful brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and niece! (Scott, I love you with all of my heart, but, let's face it, Angie really gets most of the credit on this one! Did I mention I love you? hehe.)

I got new rain boots!
And they are even cuter than the last pair!

The card is hilarious, Angie!

Scott...umm... I don't get it...?

This is the front of the card
(Angie and Ella's feet).
How precious is that?

This now has a special place on my wall:)

I already went into town and bought a new
"Luke and Ella" photo album.

 There is no more room in the old one.

 One day, I'll have the patience to sit down and make proper scrapbooks for them. 

God bless Easy Mac!

My family ROKs!

I love you
 Scott, Angie, Luke, and Ella!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUNdue Friday!

Last Friday was such a fun day. For one, it was Friday, and there is only one more week until summer vacation!

I finish teaching on Fridays at 2:30 pm, which is always a great start to the weekend. Yesterday, I decided to head into the "mighty" town of Geochang and do some shopping. My dad's birthday AND Father's Day are just around the corner, so I seriously needed to get a move on. Have I mentioned I'm a master procrastinator???

While it was a beautiful day, and it is only a 30 minute walk into town, it was a million degrees outside (plus I'm lazy!), so I called for a taxi. It's four bucks and well worth it in my book. Plus, I only go into town once or twice per week. And, yes, on nice days I actually walk (umm...ok...sometimes).

The taxi arrived, and, as I was walking across the dormirory parking lot, I was met by four of my students, who appeared to be heading into town as well.

"Teacher, where are you going?"

"I'm going to Geochang town. Want to ride with me?"

"Really?!?!?!? Yes, teacher! Thank you, teacher! It's so very hot!"

So we all happily piled into the cab."

"Teacher, what will you do in town?"

"I must buy a gift for my father's birthday and then go to the post office and mail it to America."

My stdents then proceeded to have a secret meeting in the back of the cab. (I was sitting in the front.) They were all whispering to each other in Korean. 

"What are you talking about? No fair! Use English!" I laughed.

"Teacher...umm...we...you...together shopping?" One student asked nervously. 

"You want to go shopping with me?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes! It is OK?"


It's was so funny. They looked like five year olds asking for a new toy. 

"Of course. You can help me choose a gift!" (and translate!)

So my students and I proceeded to walk around the tiny town of Geochang in search of gifts for my dad. 



Now, those of you who have been shopping with me, *cough, cough...Darcie...cough* know that I basically wander around aimlessly without any predetermined plan or destination. I like to just walk (sometimes in circles) until something jumps out and yells "Buy me! Buy me!" 


Because of this, the students have all earned spots in the I Went Shopping with Laura Ellen Swilley and Survived Club. 


As it turns out, shopping with my students is my new favorite pastime. They would not let me carry any bags (including my purse), patiently waited for me in each store, answered my many "what the heck is this?" questions, translated when needed, and provided opinions. 


After shopping we went to the post office, where they made me sit down as they packaged my purchases and spoke with the postal workers. Now, I know this will shock many of you, but I throughly enjoyed feeling like a modern-day princess with an entourage. 


After shopping and a trip to the post office, my students invited me to go bowling. Now, I SERIOUSLY hate bowling. I'll go once in a blue moon with friends, but only to socialize and be silly. But they have been such wonderful students all semester, and they were so sweet to help me in my shopping venture, that I had to say "yes." And I'm glad I did! 


When we got to the bowling alley, I realized that I was not wearing socks. (Rental shoes without socks? Gross!) One of my students IMMEDIATELY  ran down the street and bought me a pair of socks. They are yellow with a picture of a bear and say "HAPPY BEAR." I swear, I'm keeping these socks forever!


Then they broke out the "Robo Cop" gloves, and we bowled! 

I do not recall ever seeing these robot-like bowling gloves in the States, but Koreans love them!

Prepare for gutterball!!!!!!!!!!

After one game, I had to say goodbye to my students and head out to meet my friends Erin, John, and Sarah for dinner at a puffer fish restaurant! I was super excited to check yet another item off my bucket list, and I now want a t-shirt that reads "I SURVIVED EATING PUFFER FISH." It is a poisonous fish, which can be lethal if not prepared properly. 

We ate the puffer fish in a soup. It had a weird texture for fish. It was kinda chewy, 
but not as chewy as squid. 

In case the puffer fish soup was my last meal, I wanted to make it worth it, so we went to Baskin Robbins for Fondue!  Can anyone tell me if BR in the States has fondue? Or is it just in Korea? Regardless, it was worth EVERY calorie!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry tomatoes and chocolate fondue is just WRONG!

Anyway, the very first semester of Korea Lift College is coming to an end, and FUNdue Friday provided some much "due" fun!

Green Skin Day-Anti Racism Awareness Campaign KOREA

~ONE HUMAN RACE~

This initiative was someone's idea, but it isn't owned by anyone. It embraces ideals that have been a part of humanity for many years. It is our collective responsibility to be infectious agents- 

spreading the virus far and wide!

By any (legal) means necessary.

So, get your thinking caps on. Get your ideas rolling. Implement them. Take pictures.or record them on video. Upload them...or not. The point is that we get moving. Don't wait for permission from anyone.

The idea is ours, TOGETHER, to infect every human being with the virus of non-racism. 

It can be done!

For More Details:

Please join the Facebook Group  or email green.skins@hotmail.com !

“Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away, and that in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.” -MLK Jr.

Be proud! Love all! Be GREEN! 

Lekker Braai!

Last weekend, in honor of the upcoming World Cup in South Africa, I went to my very first braai and had a blast! My South African friends are extremely fun-loving and laid-back, and the same vibe could be felt throughout the braai. Everyone was there to have a great time and celebrate the South African culture with which I have completely fallen in love. Seriously, all things South African (food, music, dancing, Afrikaans, history, etc) have become my latest obsessions. 

"When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag"

The smell of all the food on the grills was incredible!

Droëwors...Dit is baie lekker!

(And no, it is not giraffe meat. It is dried beef and pork)

The meat on the T-bone steaks literally fell right off the bone. 

Boerewors (sausage) and Sarmies (sandwiches)!

We were supposed to dress in South African attire, but seeing as it was a Pre-World Cup event, and I already had my Korean football jersey and accessories, I went with Korean clothing on my body, South African tatoos on my face, and America in my heart:)

This was actually a difficult decision for me because it meant saying "NO" to shopping for a new outfit, and the SA Chucks were calling my name! 

The world cup kicks off in SA in three days! My friends Erik and Holly are there now, and I'm extremely jealous. I've only become a "football" fan since moving to Korea, and since I have actually been to a few Korean National games (and, hello, I live here), I will be cheering for BOTH Korea and the USA. Yes, I know Korea has a current ranking of 47, while the US is at 14, but I vow to support them both equally. Plus, I can't seem to chant "Dae Han Min Guk!" often enough. 

This weekend some friends and I are saying goodbye to our friend, Graham, who is returning to England for a bit, by watching England and the USA go head to head.  
Get ready...THE YANKS ARE COMING!

Paradise in a Pancho Part Dugae

"If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen."
Nikita Khrushchev 


And THAT, my friends, is exactly what we did! Now, grab your pancho, and let's go...

SWIRI HILL

Named after the Korean blockbuster, Swiri, Swiri Hill, even in the sporadic rain drizzles, was a great place to start the day by looking out over Jungmun beach and watching the surfers below. We also re-enacted the last scene of the movie. I take my acting very seriously, and as you can see in the picture above, we nailed it. NAAAIIIIIILED IT!

SANBANGSAN MOUNTAIN

Though I hate hiking, the hike up to Sanbanggulsa Grotto was very nice. It is a Buddhist temple inside a cave with a spectacular view of the ocean.

Here is a cool. fact: Sanbangsan Mountain is the only mountain on the island without a crater on its top. Legend has it that a god in a fit of rage ripped off the top of Hallasan Mountain , which created Sangbangsan Mountain. And it does look like it could fit right into the crater atop Hallasan Mountain.

In actuality, it is a huge mound of lava that was created by a volcano 800,000 years ago.

CHOCOLATE MUSEUM

It is the only chocolate museum in Asia, and it is also the WORST museum in Asia. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. I repeat, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. Don't be lured in like Diana and I were by the word "chocolate." The exterior is very impressive, but it's a stupid, stupid, stupid museum, which makes no sense, except for the one small area in which one can look through a window and see the chocolate being made.

I was hoping for something a bit more interactive, like the Fudgery at the Riverwalk in New Orleans, but no such luck.

The rest of the museum looks like this:

Please don't assume that ANY of the above items are made of or associated with chocolate in any way, not even the flying pterodactyl or Pirates of the Caribbean lunch box. I swear, I felt like I was at a really bad antique store or garage sale in middle-of-nowhere America.

Again, DON'T GO! I can tell you're considering it, but don't do it to yourself! You may never recover from the sheer stupidity of the environment. Did I mention it's a stupid, stupid, stupid museum???

MINIATURE THEME PARK
I like to refer to the Miniature Theme Park as the Korean Epcot. I don't highly recommend going, unless you have children or just have time to kill, but it was a unique place to act silly, and that is always right up my alley.

LOVE LAND

It's against the law to visit Jeju-do without a quick visit to Love Land.  It was absolutely hilarious, even more so because Koreans are so conservative. Unfortunately, we went during the last leg of our Jeju journey, and I was completely exhausted and cranky. (Me? NEVER!) Plus, I had had all of the cold wind and rain I could stand, so I just took a few pics of the statues outside and did some browsing in the gift shop (aka adult novelties store). The art pieces at Love Land, though funny, are also very impressive. They were all designed and built by Hongik University (Hongdae) students.

Speaking of conservative Korea, I was completely shocked, no FLOORED, at the amount of ajumas and ajushis at Love Land! I thought they would find it offensive and embarrassing, but they were having as much fun as the younger visitors. (you must be 18 to enter)

Scandalous news of the day: A Love Land in China was built then immediately demolished before its opening last year.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, but don't worry, Jeju-do, I'll be back one day.