For those of you keeping up with the ongoings in my life, I'm practically over my fear of flying. I attribute it to 15 months of riding in Korean buses and taxis, which usually leaves me thinking "Arghhhhh! I'd feel much safer at 35,000 feet!"
Anyway, last Friday I woke up super early and headed to the local bus station to catch a bus to Busan, from which I would be hopping on a flight to Jeju-do. (Quick fact: "do" means "island). Guess what? I was not nervous one bit!
It was early, I was tired, and DAMMIT it was the start of my vacation. So I grabbed a cappuccino and bag of potato chips from the bus convenience store (weren't many options) and sat on a bench to wait for my bus. THEN an ajosshi (older man) walked up to me, pointed to the potato chips, and grabbed the fat on my arms! I started yelling at him by saying "HAJIMA! HAJIMA!" (Don't do that!) He just started laughing, so I stood up, dumped the entire bag of potato chips on him, flipped him off, and burst into tears. His wife came up to me and apologized and tried to calm me down, but I just walked off. Which is for the best because I probably would have scratched his eyes out.
Now, I in no way support abuse of the elderly, but I came close to getting into an all out brawl with a grandfather. Call me fat, but do NOT touch me! I don't care if it is your culture, and you have no boundaries. But it's situations like this that has resulted in Korea having the highest suicide rate in the world. Constantly pointing out others' flaws, does not encourage change and self-improvement. It encourages self-hatred and impossible goals.
Earlier in the semester, my college employers deemed me too fat for brochure pictures and a student informed me that my nickname was "Pig Teacher." The student was completed baffled when I got upset and demanded an apology letter, which basically ended up being an apology wrapped in shit, but at least the apology was included in the letter.
In Korea it is common to jokingly call overweight people "pig," but he would not have said those words to one of his Korean professors. Maybe I just did not notice it before, but there seems to be more racism and bigotry in this area of Korea. I'm trying to remain positive. Life is hard, and I cannot please everyone, but this country is really beginning to take its toll on me.
TAKE NOTE KOREA: "Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion."
Margaret Cho
I cried the entire 2 1/2 hours on the bus to Busan but eventually pulled myself together and reminded myself that I was only hurting because I ALLOWED the old man, student, etc. to hurt me. I have control over my emotions and my happiness. ME! NO ONE ELSE!
Fortunately, I love my job. It's hard to beat less than 20 hours of teaching per week and 40 days paid vacation. Plus, I have seen so much improvement in my students, and I am very proud of them. Will I remain in Korea for a third year? Only time will tell, but it would be nice to finally move to Prague next year. All I know is that moving back to America will not be in the cards for a while. I want to see as much of the world as possible, and, at the moment, just thinking about the American education system makes my head hurt.
In closing, I don't hate Korea, and I have some wonderful Korean friends. I know that what I am experiencing is no different from what Koreans experience when moving to America. Racism and meanness are prevalent all over the world but so are love and acceptance.
Also, my weekend in Jeju-do was phenomenal and quite possibly my best Korean experience, so the bus terminal experience was quickly forgotten. Besides, who can be unhappy in paradise???
So here' to love, acceptance, and happiness!
"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
Lucille Ball
well said! I <3 you my little xpt!
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