Paradise Lost? No. Paradise Found!

DAY THREE

I do NOT want to leave the Karuna Yoga and Meditation Center! (commence pouting)

I can't express the feeling one has after a non-stop two hour yoga season with Julie. She somehow makes pain fun. It is impossible to be stressed or unhappy during and after her classes. Also, here is a little known fact. If you are ever mad, upset, or stressed, get onto halasana, or plow pose. (see pic below) I have tested this theory, and it is impossible to think about anything while in this asana (pose). It immediately calms you down. (If only I could do it on an airplane...)

In just a few days, I learned so much, and feel very happy and peaceful. I will be returning soon for a longer stay (perhaps August), so if anyone would like to join, please let me know. And don't stress about the vegetarian food and no alcohol. You won't miss it. Plus, they know each person is an adult, so a person can does his or her own thing, Going into town for dinner/drinks at night or doing local sight seeing is very common. No one keeps tabs on you or your participation. It is a very non-competitive environment, and everyone decides what daily schedule is best for him or her. So PLEASE, if you are interested in yoga, meditation, and exploring Thailand, come with me!

I am also very interested in staying a few days as a volunteer at the elephant conservatory in Chiangmai! Again, who's with me???

But let's focus on the present, for now. Today's morning consisted of hard-core yoga and relaxing at the pool. It was very refreshing, indeed. There was some confusion with Art (taxi driver) and the elephant trek, however. He was supposed to pick me up at 4pm, but he never showed I was heartbroken to be stood up on New Year's Day... sniffle:)

But it turns out that someone else called him for a pick-up around the same time. He was very apologetic and even gave me a discount on my ride to the airport. And he promised me next time he would make sure I get to do an elephant trek in the jungle. Oh how great thou Art!

(These signs were EVERYWHERE!)

So instead of the elephant trek, I hailed a tuk tuk (again, see pic below) and headed down to Kamala beach for relaxation and authentic pad thai, I won't lie, the food was incredible, but I have felt sick ever since. But I guess that is the price you sometimes pay for eating from a hut on the beach in Thailand. It's a culinary gamble. Maybe I got a tape worm! I've been wanting one for years!!!

Then I headed back to the Center and spent some time chatting with the non-vow of silence ladies. They were a fun bunch of women of all ages from Switzerland, England, The States, and various other places.

We watched at film called The Lion's Roar, a documentary about the life, teachings, and death of the 16th Karmapa. The Karmapa is the head of the largest of the four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism. It was informative, but not the best documentary I've seen.

Many people keep asking if I have converted to Buddhism. No, I have not because I do not think that Buddhism should be viewed as a religion. It is a philosophical way of life.

"Originally, Buddhism was not a religion, but now it has become one. We can no longer deny that there is a 'Buddhist religion' because everywhere we look, Buddhism is displayed as a religion. Unlike the monasteries in the past which held eight-hour classes per day and provided another eight hours for self-cultivation, today's Buddhist 'temples' no longer uphold such a perseverance of the Buddha's Teachings. Today we mainly see people offering to the Buddha statues and praying for blessings and fortune. In this way, Buddhism has been wrongly changed into a religion." -Chin Kung

I no longer belong to a religion. I want to live a life free of religion and full of enlightenment and compassion. It has taken many years to come to terms with the power of mythology in our lives. I respect everyone, but I do not expect the same in return because life is not about worrying about how others view us. It is how we view ourselves. I say that like it is easy, but, I think we all know, it is not. That is why meditation is important for me. It clears my mind of any unnecessary insecurities about how others view me. I tend to over-analyze interactions with others and convince myself that I know what they think about me. The truth is I don't REALLY know you, and you don't REALLY know me. So let's not try to achieve the impossible. Instead, let's get to know ourselves. And we cannot do that if our brain is full of perceived thoughts of others and daily dramas. (I highly recommend studying Joseph Campbell's teachings, or watching The Power of Myth.)

OK, so I got way off topic....After watching the film, I tried to meditate as much as possible before leaving for the airport, but it was NOT happening. My mind was all over the place. And I did the exact opposite of what I had been taught. I ran away (not literally) from my meditation session. Ah, the joys of flying. Now, please pass the xanax. It's almost time to leave paradise:(

See you in the good ol' ROK!

The Beast

Day Two

I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed New Year's Eve morning, which means I moaned, groaned, and hit snooze until I remembered "I'm in Thailand!"

I took a quick shower, got dressed, packed my backpack, and, by 7am, was in a cab. I was going to the Phi Phi Islands! For those of you that have not read my previous blogs (shame on you), this is where The Beach was filmed. And I have quickly discovered that most of the people of Thailand are not fans of that particular film. In fact, they hate it, but more on that later.

Karuna Yoga and Meditation Center's cab driver, Art, is delightful. He speaks perfect English and knows Phuket like the back of his hand. The first thing he said to me after he picked me up at the airport was "Everyday someone dies in a motorcycle accident"

Umm...Ok. was it random information time? What do I reply? "Dogs and bees cam smell fear?" At 3am, I'm a little slow. Then I got what he was really saying. "Don't rent a motor bike. It's dangerous." Well, thanks, Art, because that was EXACTLY my plan, die in Thailand on a motorbike. Hell, I'm scared to ride a bicycle these days.   

 Good ol' Art was practically a tour guide because he arranged my entire day for me, which included a speed boat trip to three of the islands, breakfast, lunch, and snorkeling. And he got me a discount! tomorrow he is bringing me to play with elephants:)

Also, when I got into the cab, He gave me a freshly picked orchid and said "Happy New Year!" It was so sweet, and I had completely forgotten that it was New Year's Eve.

Next, I jetted of to the Phi Phi Islands. I instantly made a friend on the boat. Shocking, I know! He was a nice young gay (I'm assuming, and I tend to be a gay magnet.) man from Singapore with a background in theatre. Yeah, I can't imagine why we hit it off.  Can you??? He was traveling with two friends, also from Singapore, and we had a blast island hopping all day.

The Phi Phi Islands are so beautiful. It's hard to believe they are real. Yes, I went to Maya Bay, where The Beach was filmed. Now, I will explain the locals' problem with the film.

The amount of drug-trafficking in the film does not exactly portray Thailand in a positive light. Also bulldozers were used on the island to make it more esthetically pleasing to the eye. This did not bode well with environmentalists. Plus, while increased interest in Maya Bay has been good for the tourist industry, the once completely isolated island is not longer a secret wonder of the world.  Even so, I highly recommend that everyone add Maya Bay to your bucket list ASAP! It's well worth the trip.

Upon arriving to the island, the ship captain made the following announcement:
(Side note: when he said "beach," it sounded like "beast.")

"We approaching Maya Bay. It is famous for movie, The Beast. You know The Beast? Well look at the beast. Do you see a coconut tree? No? That's because there is no coconut tree at Maya Bay. (I was waiting for him to say "YOU IDIOTS!") For movie, they take coconut tree from Phuket, put it on beast, make a movie, bring coconut tree back to Phuket. Now, if you want the beast, get on small boat. It will bring you to beast. You want great time snorkeling? Stay here on boat. You want beast? Enjoy beast!"

Noooo bitterness, whatsoever. He seemed VERY happy to promote The Beast. He probably has put a curse on Leonardo DiCaprio's head. But business is booming for him, so why be bitter in paradise?

All in all, it was one of the most surreal days of my life. I promise to post pics as soon as I get to my home sweet home in Korea.

It was a very long day. As soon as I got back to the Center at 6:30pm,  I did my evening meditation and passed out waaay before midnight. I was promptly awakened, however, at midnight by the sound of fireworks loud enough to shake the entire island of Phuket. I forgot where I was for a minute, and thought "We're under attack! Hit the deck! Crazy Kim has finally lost it!"
Then I remembered that I was not in Korea, and  the rest of the island was partying it up and ringing in the new year. I watched the fireworks out my window for a bit then slipped back into a coma.

It was probably my best New Year's Eve thus far. All alone in paradise. Although, I did miss my yearly date with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin:( I wonder if they missed me?

Happy 2010, everyone!
Make it count!

Thinking!!!!!

Day One

I arrived at Karuna Meditation center at approximately 3am. It is located in a very small gated village. I guess it can best be described as a tropical version of Canebreak ( That's for my Mississippi friends). There is 24 hour security at the gate, HUGE homes, a village pool and spa, weight room, beautiful landscaping and Buddhist shrines, and a wonderful sala (pavilion) overlooking the pool.
All of the homes are the same color (Thai Homeowners' Association?) and the Center is a row of homes that have been transformed into a zen escape from the "real" world.
The Center has several rooms and bungalows, two meditation rooms, and a dining room and juice bar.
Here is the daily schedule:
7am- yoga on the beach
8:30am- breakfast
11am- yoga in the sala
1pm- lunch
2pm- meditation class
4:30pm- yoga by the pool
6:30pm- fruit for dinner

Meditation can be done at anytime durring the day in the meditation halls or really any place your heart desires. I enjoy the meditation halls because there is AC and tons of cushions and pillows.

Today was pretty intense. Since I did not get to bed until 4am, I slept until 10am and missed the morning yoga and breakfast. I made it to the sala yoga class, and it was incredible. All of the monks and teachers at the Center are American (No language barriers is a nice change of pace) and have wicked senses of humor. Julie, the yoga instructor, made the hardcore two hour yoga session so much fun.  And believe me, doing asanas outside in Thailand brings a whole new meaning to "hot" yoga.

The food at lunch was so fresh and yummy. I was a vegetarian for two years, and the food today was some of the best vegetarian food of my life! I would like to become a vegetarian again, but it is nearly impossible in Korea, so I'm on the fence at the moment.

Now let's talk about Michael the monk, or, as I secretly call him, M&M. Who knew monks were so HOT??? He looks like a movie star, but is, by far, the most humble and intelligent person I ever encountered. His two hour meditation class was phenomenal. I could listen to him all day. He was so honest and witty. I laughed the entire time.  It was very refreshing!

One thing that blows my mind is that M&M only sleeps three hours per day. I would be the most unpleasant person on Earth. I love my frequent 8 to 10 hours of sleep. He claims meditation takes away so much stress that the body's natural need for sleep and food decreases. I know it sounds crazy, but I can believe it because meditation is sooooo difficult. Seriously, sitting and not thinking is HARD!

Today, M&M told us to clear our minds while meditating, and every time a thought or story comes into our heads, block it out by saying "THINKING!" in  our minds.

My meditation session followed this pattern:
"THINKING!"
"THINKING!"
"THINKING!"
"THINKING!"
"I wonder what time I will return from Phi Phi Island tomorrow? Am I pronouncing it correctly? I really should have learned more Thai phrases. Did the movie Brokedown Palace take place in Thailand? Clare Danes is a good actress. I wonder why she hasn't made any movies recently? I think her last film was that Sarah Jessica Parker Movie. Oh, what was it called? My left foot is asleep. Oh shit..."Thinking!"

Then there was more yoga, private meditation, and delicious mangoes for dinner. Mangoes rock! I never knew, but now I'm hooked! There are way worse addictions, right?

I even asked one of my students who vacationed in Thailand a few months ago, "What should I do in Thailand?"

I was expecting "Go to the beach; ride an elephant; go swimming; etc."

What I got was "Sleep in a hotel and eat a mango."

Well, done and done!

All in all it was a wonderful day, and I never want to leave.

Blogging at 34,000 Feet

As some of you may know, I have been on a quest the past few years to be less materialistic. I have my good days and my bad days, but mostly good days. Unfortunately, I still spend entirely too much money on my hair and makeup. Baby steps, right?

Well, what is it about an airport that makes me want to spend exuberant amounts of money? I can go to COEX, one of the biggest malls in the world, and not spend a penny (umm...i mean, won), but put me in an airport, and suddenly i cant live without a cashmere pasmina, Chanel handbag, and tacky souvenirs galore. In today's particular case, the call of souvenirs before boarding my plane was particularly sad because I LIVE IN KOREA. I'm quite certain that i can live without a Korean Hello Kitty.

And don't even get me started on the duty free shopping magazine on the plane. At the moment, I'm stuck above the clouds, full of xanax, and you give me a yet another chance to purchase designer goods??? Of course, being a Korean airline, 99% of the items are makeup/beauty products. UGH...It's a cold cruel world, indeed. At least this is a zenful, makeup-free vacation.

Thus far, the flight has been very smooth and relaxing. I was hoping to sleep the entire flight, but two hours in, it has yet to happen. I have had 4mg of xanax (I think...haha) and a glass of wine, so i should be dead or passed out, but, instead, i am just relaxed and happy.

Yes. I know I broke my "no wine" rule because this is an alcohol free trip, but it was a very small amount, and i would much rather be comatose or dead if this plane goes down. (Just being honest, people!) I know it sounds crazy, but I love to travel. I have been to more than 10 countries, and I refuse to let a stupid fear of flying stop me from seeing at least 10 more!

I know the monks and yogis at the resort are going to try to convince me to fly back to Korea unmedicated, but we shall cross that bridge on Saturday. Who knows, maybe the meditation will be extremely beneficial in calming my anxieties. Let's face it. Stranger things have happened.

Speaking of strange, I've actually been on a movie kick. I watched two entire movies, two nights in a row (This is the part where my close friends gasp in disbelief). I REALLY hope I don't have to watch a lame Korean film on this flight. (Thanks again to all my friends who FORCED me to watch Ninja Assassin.) Maybe I'll be asleep and it wont matter.

Completely off topic...I watched Inglorious Basterds last night, and I was completely hooked by the end of the opening scene. Brad Pitt's character was phenomenal. His voice in the film is now my interal monologue. I cant turn it off. (You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And, cousin, business is a-boomin')

AND I am adopting a puppy when i return on Saturday. She is a beautiful black and brown dachshund, named Bear. To me, she will forever be known as The Bear Jew! (Watch the movie, I'm not explaining.)

Now, everyone is doing their Sky high Duty Free shopping, and I am showing complete restraint. I have seriously never witnessed so much in flight shopping. Koreans do love a deal on makeup, but who ever just sprayed her newly purchased perfume might experience the wrath of Swilley. We are in an airtight contraption, for god's sake!

OK. I will try to get some rest and, hopefully, wake up in paradise!

Nighter Facers!!! (that was for you, Dar)

Good news, I took a two hour nap, but I still have two more hours to go. I woke up at one point and saw the in flight movie on the screen. It was an American film, but not one I recognized. I did notice the main actress from High School Musical, but that is all I can tell you. But then again, i am completely ignorant to all American films and music released in the last 10 months.

In lieu of sleep, I will now read more of the latest Laurell K Hamilton novel (I just love her) and perhaps it will lead to more zzzzz's.

Sleeping has become a massive fail, so I am enjoying my third glass of ginger ale. I never drink it on the ground, but in the sky, for some odd reason, I drink it like its my job. I always have.  Seriously, the first time I flew when was around 10, give or take a few years, I asked for ginger ale. I don't think I had tasted ginger ale before, so don't ask why I requested it. Maybe I thought it sounded like a classy drink. Anyway, years later, I have yet to board a plane without drinking ginger ale. And thats #1,384 on the list of "Weird Swilley Facts."

Also, I keep listening to "One Night in Bangkok" on my Ipod, and it is getting me pumped! I love traveling alone. It is so empowering!

See you in Thailand!

Iyengar is My Homeboy

“I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.' -Ellen DeGeneres 

I have been studying Hatha yoga for about 6 months now. I have an amazing Yogi, Lynn, who has worked so hard and been so patient in teaching me the ways of one of the world's oldest forms of physical and mental discipline. It's a miracle she did not kick me out of our first session because I would not stop talking. I'm still quite talkative and ADHD durring our sessions, but, I must say, I have come a long way since day one. 

A few months ago, I decided that I wanted to study yoga in Thailand. So Lynn helped me look at various yoga facilities online, and we finally decided on one that was reasonably priced and in line with the same form of yoga on which we had been focusing, which is a combination of Hatha and Iyengar yoga. 


There are about 12 various types of yoga, but I really enjoy Hatha yoga because it is very slow-paced and relaxing. It reminds me a lot of ballet because many of the positions are similar, with Sanskrit names instead of French. (By the way, and I'm not bragging because that would go against all my yogi's teachings, but I can name about twenty different poses in Sanskrit. That's right! What up? High fives!)


So let's step into the present. I'm leaving tomorrow for Karuna Meditation Center. It is located in Nakatini village, on the island of Phuket, Thailand. I hope to spend a few days relaxing through yoga and meditation and exploring. I even plan on doing some hiking. What? Don't act like I am not Little Miss Sunsine when hiking! OK, so maaaaybe I turn into a monster when inclines are involved. And maaaaybe I tried to hail a cab while hiking up Namsan Mountain. And maaaaaybe I develop tourette's syndrome and curse everyone around me. But as long as I avoid inclines (I'm not lazy, just allergic) I will have a lovely time.


I won't lie. I'm very excited to learn yoga and meditation in Thailand. The facility is run by former monks, so I don't think one can find better teachers, but let's be honest. I'm gonna need a muzzle. I'm a complete chatterbox, and some people take a vow of silence before coming to the center. After five minutes with me, their ears will be bleeding, and they will be demanding refunds! And can I just say that if I took a vow of silence for this trip, I would explode and quite possible take a monk or two down with me! 


The best part, however, is I get to check two things off my bucket list!

• Ride an elephant in the jungle.
• Go to the island where The Beach was filmed.

That's right, people! Have you seen The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio? Well, if not, then you need to watch it ASAP, so that I may be the envy of all. Again, very un-yoga-like, but in the words of the great Kathy Griffin "SUCK IT!" I'm going to Phi Phi Leh Island!!!!! (It was also the setting for the James Bond flick, The Man with the Golden Gun.)

The Phi Phi Islands are very short taxi and  ferry ride away from the Center, so I am going to dedicate one day to exploring the islands then joining an elephant ride through the jungle of Phuket. All other days will be reserved for relaxing at the Center. I have a very hard life, I know. 

Now, I'm going to be perfectly honest for a bit. This is the circle of trust, right? A part of me is a bit nervous about Karuna Meditation center. Take a minute to click on the link and check out the website. It looks glorious, doesn't it? Well, I think it, like most websites, is a bit misleading. Alright, I KNOW it is.

After, and only after, viewing the website, read the following review I found online:

"The beautiful beach mentioned on their website is about 20 minute walk but once you get to KYMC they tell you that they don’t recommend women to walk there alone! You can however use the resort private beach across the road (5 minutes). Sometimes they can pose problems as you are not staying at the resort but be nice to them and with soft dialogue you should be fine. It also helps saying you are staying at KYMC.
There is also a swimming pool at Nakatani Village. It is not from KYMC but shared by all people that live at this condominium. Although at the time I was there, it was almost always empty, I can imagine it gets very busy in the high season.

When it comes to yoga, ignore the pictures on their website. It’s not done by the beach or any other fancy place. It either at the yoga sala by the pool (nice area) or indoors if raining. While I was at KYMC there were only classes at 11:00. No 17:00 class as advertised (never).
However, yoga classes are great and the teacher, Julie, is phenomenal. Everyone that came to yoga classes praised the classes and the teacher. She is an energy booster! Julie adapts to all levels and follows everyone individually making sure they are doing stuff right and that they are neither overdoing or are under doing. The yoga practiced at KYMC is Ashtanga primary series. Yoga is Monday to Friday. Some Saturdays as well but not Sundays.

As to meditation itself, there is only one guided meditation followed by teachings – Monday to Sunday. All other session are not guided. You join in when you want and you leave when you want. I will not comment on these as it’s really very personal. Some people find the talks very useful others not so much. Some find them ‘enlightening’ others negative and almost frustrating. It depends on what you are expecting and what your previous experience is."

At first, I was a bit upset that I had wasted my money on this trip, which is nonrefundable. Then my great friend Matt said "Swilley, no one has more fun than you." Which I hope is true. Even if the experience is miserable, I know I will be able to laugh about it, during and after, and it will turn into one hell of a blog! In the summer of 2008 I slept on the ground for two weeks in the Dominican Republic with tarantulas and mosquitoes the size of my head all around. Anything feels like the Hilton after that! So I secretly kind of hope that things are a bit odd because those make the best stories and memories.

One last thing before we say goodbye. There are no room keys at the center. That's right. There are no locks on the doors. Again, at first, I was a bit less than happy. Then I talked to Yogi Lynn, and she assured me that I would be safe, and that "no locks" are representative of a peaceful, trusting environment. Next Tom put his two cents in by saying something about a locked door being a metaphor for a locked mind. I wasn't really listening. After "sweaty cup," I think we've all learned to take his information with a grain of salt. (What does that even mean, by the way?) Later, Matt assured me that I would be perfect safe because anyone who came into my room to kill me would see me with my CPAP mask on and assume that I was already half dead. Did I mention, I love my friends?  


Anyway, I'm pushing my bed against my door when I sleep. End of story. Does that mean my mind will be open or locked? Maybe just inhospitable? Something to ponder, indeed!

Until next time, sawaddee ka!